Game Day Snacks – Buffalo Chicken Popcorn

Jenn at Frugal Upstate is running a post on game day recipes. She posted a great recipe for buffalo chicken dip, which we tried last weekend. It was a huge hit. I substituted chicken wing sauce in place of half the hot sauce. It was great with tortilla chips, but it was also good spread on soft pita bread and used as a quesadilla filling.

A staple for us when we have get-togethers is buffalo chicken popcorn. What can I say? We have a lot of guests who really, really like chicken wings – the hotter the better. We just pop a big batch of popcorn in the hot air popper and toss with chicken wing sauce to taste. Depending on the crowd, we might also sprinkle just a little crushed red pepper. You could use hot sauce, but we get the chicken wing sauce for free, so that’s what we use. Then we make a second batch of popcorn and toss in a packet of ranch dressing mix (the powdered kind), and shake well. We sometimes serve them in separate bowls, sometimes combine them into one giant bowl.

Another Day, Another $1500 Spent

But, at least stuff got paid, right?

Just over $700 for my mortgage payment (it’s about a week late, but I had to wait for a check to clear). Another $700 for my electric bill. Can’t wait until heating season really kicks in. The electric bill will be my downfall. I also (finally) called Sallie Mae to sort out my student loan mess. They let me reassess my past due amount into my current total balance and start over with payments going forward – starting yesterday, to the tune of $60. So, all of that, plus my vonage bill and there we have just about $1500. Damn. And I was starting to feel like I wasn’t in the poorhouse

Also this week, I straightened out my “other” bank situation. It’s a bank back where I used to live, and my car payment and a small personal loan are through that bank. I was nearly a month behind on both, so I called and had the money transferred to those payments (actually, I guess that makes it more like $1750+ spent yesterday). Of course, I could have paid these nearly two weeks ago if they hadn’t frozen the account because they were past due. How the hell am I supposed to transfer funds to make the payments if they money is frozen? Duh. It did, however, take me two weeks to get off my butt and make the call to straighten it out. I really just couldn’t bring myself to deal with it, which is not good. Anyone who has ever had financial problems should be able to attest – ignoring it doesn’t make it go away, it just gets worse. But, it’s done now, so onward we go. Now I have just the current loan payment through that bank that was due this week, but will have to be paid next week because I have no more money in that account until my next check and there is no way to transfer money there from my other accounts. Well, no way to do so and have it arrive faster than actually waiting for the next automatic deposit. 

So, that leaves me the water bill, garbage bill, and one credit card to deal with. Ick. Water bill is around $150, garbage is, I think, 2 months behind, so I probably owe around $70 there, and the credit card is another $49. I just got that card back to current, so I will scrounge the rest of my account to pay that by the end of next week (when it’s due). And SIL actually paid the $100 weekly rent this week – without a fight, no less. And she bought some groceries for the first time in a month. Another shocker. I can take $80 of that and apply it toward the water bill (more important than trash removal), and another $80 from her next week and that should cover it. And with my next check (next week), I should be able to scrounge enough for the garbage company – at least enough to keep the service running until next month.

The electric bill is the worry. I owed two months ($1700), but only paid $700. I’m hoping they will accept that until mid-October and then I can hopefully give them another $700. I’m telling you, that electric bill will be the one that pushes me back into the downward spiral. Ugh.

Anyway, at least I am free from collection calls for a few more weeks. I need to sit down and take a good, hard look at my total balances owed and what other options I have to get this sorted out. Creditors are not going to work out payment plans indefinitely

Crisis of Faith?

Is it possible to experience a crisis of faith if you don’t really subscribe to any particular faith or religion in the first place?  It honestly feels like that might be part of this funk that I’ve been in, but how can that be if I have never followed any specific faith?

Now, before any hard-core bible-thumpers start attacking me for this, let me just say that this is simply how I was raised. My grandmother (father’s side) has gone to church faithfully every weekend and holiday as far back as I can remember. She does her rosary, watches the mass, donates, volunteers, etc. I have great respect for this woman and her beliefs. That does not, however, mean I must share those beliefs. My parents, for whatever reason, just never did follow a specific religion. It was not a part of our life, nor was it a subject that was ever really discussed – in a positive or negative way. I know I was baptized, but it seems like that’s just what people did back then.

As I have gotten older, I have tried to learn more about various religions and faiths, just so I would be at least somewhat educated about the options, theologies, and trains of thought. I never really felt inclined to get involved on a deeper level myself. I just like to know about things. I keep an open mind (and not just about religion, but about all personal life choices). I have no particular grudges against any religion or type of follower (devout, orthodox, those who belong but don’t practice). “To each their own” is the motto I try to live by.

More and more, however, I find myself struggling with the question of what I believe? I do believe the theory of evolution and all that scientific stuff that some religions dismiss as nonsense. But, does that mean there can’t be anything else? I want to believe that there is something else, that there is something beyond just this physical life, that there is some system of right/wrong, good/evil – for me, it’s mostly the concept of Karma, which is kind of a bit like do unto others, right?

So, my dilemma – my crisis of faith, if you will – is this: how does a reasonably intelligent person who was not raised to believe things “just because” actually justify or sustain any faith in anything of the kind? How does one put aside the unknown and believe in things that are intangible and for which there is no scientific evidence, no factual basis of proof? What I have read really just does not help me to make that leap.

(I reiterate this is not meant as an attack on anyone who does follow a religion or has a different background or history than I experienced.)

Payment Plans, Headaches, and Other Random Nonsense

So, I guess the key to getting creditors to work with you is to allow yourself to get so far behind that they really don’t have any other options. A few months ago, when I realized I was going to be unable to make my payments and contacted my creditors to work out payment plans, ask for lower interest, defer a payment, etc., only one was willing to do anything helpful (they waived a late fee and an over-limit fee that was going to be assessed due to the missed payment).

A few months later, and I’m behind on everything, and all of a sudden, they are willing to talk. Why couldn’t we just sort this out before I missed payments? It just makes no sense. Anyway, I have now worked out somewhat reasonable, manageable plans with my one store credit card (dropped my interest to a third of what it was and set $19 monthly payments for 12 months – woohoo). I have also worked out a deal with another card that drops my payments on one card to $27/month for 4 months. The two remaining cards have not worked out long-term payment plans with me, but they have reduced payment amounts for 2 months and dropped associated fees. It’s better than nothing, so I won’t complain.

Now I need to deal with the two biggest, scariest bills. Nearly $1700 due to the electric company (that’s just two months, folks). Unfortunately, the electric company flat-out refuses to work out a payment plan with me because I am “over-income” – puh-huh! If I was over-income, I’d be able to pay my damn light bill! Anyway, I also need to pay the mortgage, which for some reason went down by like $70 this month (maybe the taxes? Need to check on that.) . When I asked the mortgage company to defer a payment previously, they said they don’t do that unless the account is significantly behind and in danger of foreclosure. How silly of me to ask for a deferment to avoid getting to that point? Duh.

I have $1075 in my checking. Nothing in savings, as that was already drained to make payments. Hmm. So, I have $1075 in my account, and payments for house and lights to the tune of $2470 (not including the water bill or trash pick-up, which totals another $175). I do get paid this week, but it was a short pay period, so it’ll bring in maybe $900. That brings my total cash to around $2000. Unfortunately, there are some scheduled payments coming out of that $900, which brings my cash available to probably around $1500. Hmm. Call me crazy, but something is not getting paid this month.

And that brings us to the headaches. Oh, the headaches. Everyday for at least the past week, I have had a headache. The kind where moving your head makes it worse, and sitting up makes you want to throw up. I have taken more advil than can possibly be good for me. And there is no end in sight. The headaches are most likely due to a combination of constant money worries, lack of sleep (due to constant money worries – see how that works?), and living with the moochers (and the attitude that comes with them). I wish there was a *back* button for life.

Other randomness: I still get ridiculous attitude from my live-in’s (aka the moochers). I did see my grandmother this weekend. I hadn’t visited in a few months, so I had to take all the snotty/snide remarks from her on that topic before we could just settle in and catch-up. But, she got all her jabs out and now we’re good. I spent at least 50 percent of my childhood with this woman (actually, after my father died it was more like 80 percent), so it’s important to me to stay on good terms with her, and to keep in touch with her. She’s getting up there in years, and she is prone to depression when she thinks everyone has forgotten her. I need to be much better about visiting her regularly. She’s always been there for me. Time to return the favor.

School has started. YAY! I have peace and quiet during the day when I am trying to work. No more trying to watch the kids when I am supposed to be working. Of course, my live-in’s are blind to the fact that this could be a problem. As long as it doesn’t affect them, they don’t care. But, school’s in, baby! The downside to that is that I have to get up at 6:30 to get the kids ready for school (their mother works nights and gets home at 7:30; their father can’t be bothered to wake up before noon). Getting up that early really sucks when you don’t fall asleep until after 4am, but at least I get a head start on my day, right?

And finally, I am looking for a job to make extra money to help get things back on track. I have applied at a few local places and now am trying to explore other income-generating opportunities, like work at home type stuff. Hopefully something will turn up soon.

Fun stuff.

Money: It Can’t Buy Happiness, But It Sure Does Help

That is the truth. Anyone who does not agree, well, I guess they are more spiritual than I am. Or less materialistic. Or have never experienced paycheck to paycheck-bill floating-hot dog and ramen eating levels of brokeness.

When I have my finances under control, I am reasonably calm; my emotions are reasonably stable. I don’t worry much about other stuff and am content to just roll with things. When the phone rings, answering is not painful and humiliating. I can supply the kids with shoes and clothes as needed. When I have finances under control, I don’t have to pick and choose whether to visit my grandmother or my mom because I can’t afford the gas to do both.

When my finances are screwed up, however, I get frequent headaches that just won’t go away. I worry constantly. I get stomach pains, muscle spasms, and peel my fingernails down til they bleed. When the phone rings, there is a pretty good chance it’s a creditor calling to demand money – and there’s an equally good chance that by the end of the call, I will be reduced to tears, trying to explain that I want to pay the amount due, but just don’t have the money.

When my finances are out of control, we do not have what most people would call “groceries” in the house. We have eggs, because we get them for free from a relative, and that’s good, as my nephew loves eggs. Other than that, we are on 33-cent mac-n-cheese, 99-cent hot dogs, cheap tuna fish, and 10-cent ramen diet. The exception is when my mom shows up with a few bags of random groceries. My emotions are all over the map. I lose my temper easily; get snappy with people when I don’t mean to; and I get to feeling despondent, useless, and just plain disgusted with myself.

Would an unexpected windfall (or even just an elimination of my past due amounts) make all my problems go away? Well, no. I would still be overweight. I’d still have to deal with my moochers, I’d still be questioning whether I want to continue as a single or rethink my stand on relationships. I’d still be reduced to tears when I start thinking about my old cat, or my father. On the other hand, I would not get debt collection calls constantly from morning until night. I would not have to worry that losing my house would leave 4 other people homeless…not just myself. The kids would have their usual new school things and wouldn’t be worried that we can’t afford to get them everything they need for school. I would be able to do something about the mold situation that just cropped up in my basement before it leads to health problems for the people who live here. One of the kids has severe asthma. You don’t mess with that.

So, money wouldn’t necessarily solve all my problems and certainly wouldn’t guarantee happiness. But it would eliminate about 90 percent of the things that are currently preventing me getting to my happy place. Yes, I am fairly confident in saying that money would at least buy me the financial stability and peace of mind necessary to allow me to work on those other areas.