Doubtful. I think I am in holiday hell.
I have been walking a financial tightrope for more than a year. But, I have worked out payment arrangements, made some extra cash, really cracked down on spending (meaning lots of cheap and not so tasty groceries), and thought I was finally gaining some ground.
I could see the light. I even managed to budget $200 for Christmas – including Christmas dinner and decorating, as well as gifts. I was limiting gifts to my best friend (which is usually just a decent dinner out where we pay our own way), my mom, my grandmother, and my niece and nephew. With the bulk of the gift budget going to the two kids, of course.
And now, my holiday plans are completely upside down. Why? you ask…well, because I just got landed with a $927 electric bill. Yep. $927 DOLLARS. As in NINE HUNDRED twenty-seven dollars. This month, because of the way the days of the week fell, I ended up with two short pay periods in a row (I only get paid twice a month to begin with). Which means I was already down by 2 days pay. And on top of that, I get to pay what is actually equivalent to MORE than one of those checks to keep my lights on.
Merry effing Christmas to me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know the holidays are not all about the gifts and spending money, blah, blah, blah. But I’ve already cut any decorating that requires Christmas lights or electricity (to save on the electric bill). I’m already keeping the thermostat turned down more than the live-ins appreciate (max of 65, usually turned down to around 55 during the day). The kids have already had to sacrifice some of the “extras” that they were used to getting from me, like occasional dinners out, anytime gifts “just because,” movies, sometimes a weekend away at a hotel with a heated indoor pool (it’s COLD here (22 this morning)…a heated pool in December is an awesome treat).
And just to clarify, the cutbacks have been more severe than that list makes it sound. We don’t go out AT ALL. We have not been to or purchased a movie in MONTHS AND MONTHS. Clothes come mostly from hand-me-downs and thrift stores, and there hasn’t been a “just because” gift larger than a pack of peanut butter cups in MONTHS and MONTHS. We all miss those little extras, like being able to buy the groceries we want. You know, those perks from back in the day when I didn’t have a mortgage payment and 4 moochers living with me.
I guess I was just really hoping to be able to make it up to them (and myself) by doing somethingfor the holidays. Not anything huge. We’re aren’t talking a Wii or piles and piles of unnecessary presents – maybe a new game each, or couple of DVD’s they’ve been wanting. We weren’t planning a huge dinner, either. Ham, potatoes, maybe a pie. Now, we are looking at bleak, bleak, bleak.
Again, I know there are people much worse off than we are. At least I still have my house. And my job (for now, anyway). We are still healthy. But, I can’t help but feel disappointed for the kids. I am just in the dumps knowing what a let-down this year is going to be. For all of us.
I just want to crawl into bed and sleep until after new years.
