more of the same

I started this blog to have someplace reasonably anonymous to vent my feelings, ideas, what-have-you. After starting off fairly well, I did start slacking as far as keeping up with things.

I could blame it on being too busy with work and everything. I could, but it would be a lie. The truth is, I have been so overwhelmingly unhappy with my current living situation – the “housemates” that never leave, and the financial stress of supporting 5 people, you know, the same old, same old - that I just…well, gave up.

Confrontation when I know I am in the right is not something that I shy away from. And I don’t take crap from anyone. Don’t get me wrong now, I am not just a mouthy bitch who picks fights when things don’t go my way. I am reasonable, but I will stand up for what I know is right. That said, my moochers know that the only people I try to avoid confrontation with is them. They know it, and they take full advantage.

They know I don’t want to live in a house full of hostilities, that I don’t want to upset the kids, that I would be hurt if things ended badly and they kept the kids away to be spiteful. But, after several months of being very, very unhappy with this whole situation, I have reached my breaking point.

I have put up with being treated with complete and total disrespect in my own home. I have allowed them to basically do as they please. I have kept my mouth shut when they have screaming kids and crying babies all over the place when I am trying to participate in conference calls (I work from home). Their dog has chewed up some of the stairs, the railing on my deck, and various furniture pieces. She pees all over in the basement. Not to mention the piles of poo she leaves all over the basement. Are they even concerned about the damage to the house? Nope. Stuff breaks around the house and they won’t contribute to fixing anything.

I have allowed them to totally run my car into the ground while their perfectly good car sits in the driveway, because they can’t be bothered to save up $200 to replace the windshield. Meanwhile, I’ve had to replace the tires, brakes, battery, and other miscellaneous parts on my car (which I drive about 20 miles per week and they drive at least 40 miles per DAY). And though they need my car to get around, and are responsible for most of the wear and tear over the past two years, they did not offer to pay one penny of the repair costs. They gripe if they have to buy a $2 quart of oil for the car.

The measly $400 per month that I have to pry from their hands is supposed to help cover electric bills and other utilities. Instead, it’s costing me more than that every month to feed the mooching bastards. And that $400 was explicitly agreed upon to NOT be part of grocery expenses – but when I don’t buy groceries, neither do they. And that means two kids end up eating nothing but junk. Call me crazy, but I think that’s wrong.

Anyway, it’s been building for a while now. I am fed up with living in my bedroom (which I share with a pre-teen boy!?) 90% of the time . My bedroom has become my office, sleeping area, dining area, tv room, etc. The rest of the house is constantly “in use” by them, and their relatives. And when I am in the rest of the house, I am treated like an unwelcome guest. The kids, particularly their preteen daughter, do not listen to me at all. This probably has something to do with the fact that they run to daddy if I tell them not to do something or try to enforce homework or bedtime, and he, my idiot brother, makes a scene in front of them and tells me to mind my own business. Hello? I will gladly stand aside and let him deal with them. Except that he can’t be bothered. And she is always half asleep.

I’ve already refused to be left in charge of the kids anymore because of their behavior, total lack of respect, and my brother’s attitude. I’ve refused to be the one who puts the kids on the bus in the mornings. I have started giving them some not-so-subtle hints that this situation is coming to an end. I have refused to buy as many of the groceries.

 And today, the final straw. For the third time in a week, my brother “borrowed” the car to go “take care of a few things” and for the third time this week, I told him – I have plans right after work, you need to be back here at 5pm. Yeah, whatever, no problem. That’s what he says. And yet he had the nerve to act surprised and put out that I was angry when he came rolling in at 8:45. Too late for me to do my errands. Not to mention, she takes my car to work at 9:30, so I wouldn’t have had time.

He actually had the nerve to tell me “too bad” because he told me he had to do a few things. Hmm. Yes, and I told him I had plans. Hello? MY CAR. I have a right to drive it once in a while. But the absolute final straw was when I told him that I’ve had enough and he needs to fix his own car because he was no longer allowed to drive my car. He actually told me if I don’t like it, to get my own house. Excuse me? Like it or not, this IS my house. I worked damn hard to get it and have not really had a chance to enjoy it at all. Not since they moved in one week after I bought it.

This is how they got my mother’s house. They just sort of took over and pushed her out. The difference is that house was paid off, and my mother didn’t have the balls to stand up to them. And look what happened? They got a huge house free and clear – all they had to do was pay the taxes, and they couldn’t be bothered to do that. Instead, they lost the house. Well, not this time. As far as I am concerned, they have two options. 1.)MOVE OUT. Go find their own place and that’s that. or 2.) Save their tax money instead of blowing it on video games, dvd’s, and fast food, get themselves approved for a home loan and I will sell them my house for what I owe. I’ll lose out on the house and won’t turn a profit, but if they want it that bad, they can have it. The kids like it here, so fine. I’ll go back to being a carefree renter for a while.

Either way, someone is moving out of this house. And soon. And then, I can start over, either here or somewhere else. And never again will I fall into this trap. Burn me once…

“Happy” Holiday??

Doubtful. I think I am in holiday hell.

I have been walking a financial tightrope for more than a year. But, I have worked out payment arrangements, made some extra cash, really cracked down on spending (meaning lots of cheap and not so tasty groceries), and thought I was finally gaining some ground.

I could see the light. I even managed to budget $200 for Christmas – including Christmas dinner and decorating, as well as gifts. I was limiting gifts to my best friend (which is usually just a decent dinner out where we pay our own way), my mom, my grandmother, and my niece and nephew.  With the bulk of the gift budget going to the two kids, of course.

And now, my holiday plans are completely upside down. Why? you ask…well, because I just got landed with a $927 electric bill. Yep. $927 DOLLARS. As in NINE HUNDRED twenty-seven dollars. This month, because of the way the days of the week fell, I ended up with two short pay periods in a row (I only get paid twice a month to begin with). Which means I was already down by 2 days pay. And on top of that, I get to pay what is actually equivalent to MORE than one of those checks to keep my lights on.

Merry effing Christmas to me.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know the holidays are not all about the gifts and spending money, blah, blah, blah. But I’ve already cut any decorating that requires Christmas lights or electricity (to save on the electric bill). I’m already keeping the thermostat turned down more than the live-ins appreciate (max of 65, usually turned down to around 55 during the day). The kids have already had to sacrifice some of the “extras” that they were used to getting from me, like occasional dinners out, anytime gifts “just because,” movies, sometimes a weekend away at a hotel with a heated indoor pool (it’s COLD here (22 this morning)…a heated pool in December is an awesome treat).

And just to clarify, the cutbacks have been more severe than that list makes it sound. We don’t go out AT ALL. We have not been to or purchased a movie in MONTHS AND MONTHS. Clothes come mostly from hand-me-downs and thrift stores, and there hasn’t been a “just because” gift larger than a pack of peanut butter cups in MONTHS and MONTHS. We all miss those little extras, like being able to buy the groceries we want. You know, those perks from back in the day when I didn’t have a mortgage payment and 4 moochers living with me.

I guess I was just really hoping to be able to make it up to them (and myself) by doing somethingfor the holidays. Not anything huge. We’re aren’t talking a Wii or piles and piles of unnecessary presents – maybe a new game each, or couple of DVD’s they’ve been wanting.  We weren’t planning a huge dinner, either. Ham, potatoes, maybe a pie.  Now, we are looking at bleak, bleak, bleak.

Again, I know there are people much worse off than we are. At least I still have my house. And my job (for now, anyway). We are still healthy. But, I can’t help but feel disappointed for the kids. I am just in the dumps knowing what a let-down this year is going to be. For all of us.

I just want to crawl into bed and sleep until after new years.

Long Time, No Blog…

Wow. It’s been more than a month since I made any posts here. Time flies, I guess.  Mostly I’ve just been busy and preoccupied, but also I just haven’t felt like I had anything to post. Which really isn’t exactly true. I think I’ve been a little depressed lately. Blame the season. Blame my piss-poor attitude. Blame my sucky life. Nah. Piss-poor attitude is the real culprit. But, I’m over it, so it seems I need to make an update here and then just get on with it.

So finances, of course, are still a concern. I’ve got it somewhat under control at the moment, but I do want to find a steadier source of additional income for at least a few months. I’ve got some leads I’ll be following up on this week. Less worrying about making all the bills would certainly go a long way toward lightening my mood and brightening up my piss-poor attitude. (Have I mentioned that I’ve had a piss-poor attitude lately?  Sorry. I promise that’s the last time I say it.)

My living situation is another cause for update. Don’t get excited, though – the moochers (or live-ins, as I like to call them) are still here. In fact, for a while I had an extra moocher. My brother (who contributes nothing toward our living expenses and doesn’t even take care of his own kids) invited our alcoholic uncle to live with us. See, my uncle has been living in Florida for 28 years and recently spent a few weeks in the hospital. All of his friends have either died or moved away, so his hospital stay seems to have scared him. I don’t think he’s ever really been alone. He said he had quit drinking, so my brilliant brother decided to play the hero and offer him a place to live. Well, my uncle took that offer and we scavenged up money to help him pay for a ticket home. He lived with us for one week before my brother decided he’d had enough and kicked him out. My brother told him it was because he was drinking again (which is partially true), but I think the final straw for my brother was just that he was sick of having him constantly around. And he tried to take the remote control and change the channel while my brother was watching tv. Luckily another uncle was willing to take him in. I did drive him around to some appointments, helped him find a job, and all that. Now he just needs to stay off the sauce enough to keep the job.

What else? Well, my grandmother died last weekend. Yes, it is sad, but honestly she had been in the hospital for several weeks, and before that had been in a nursing home for several years (and on dialysis for 10 years). Her quality of life had really deteriorated, and I do believe she’s in a much better place now. But this sad event has managed to cause a rift in my mother’s family. She and her four brothers are now not speaking to her four sisters because the four sisters were being quite catty and greedy and bitchy…and just downright sneaky. It would be nice if such family tragedies could bring people together, but it often seems to just tear people apart. At least that’s how it goes in my experience.

This reminder that life is fleeting and all that has gotten me off my butt to make some effort to maintain my relationships. I have made it a point to reconnect with my mom, my other grandmother, and my good friend (who is twice my age and in poor health). I am trying to get fired up about my job again. For a while there I was just so disinterested in everything. Ugh.

Other than that, things are mostly the same. I have taken up cooking and baking again. I am itching to re-read my Austen novels and the HP books but work is picking up right now and I probably won’t have time for a while. My nephew is now officially a {gasp!} teenager as his birthday was earlier this month. The holidays are coming, so like most people I am trying to balance various family responsibilities. But more on that another time.

There. See, you didn’t miss much.  I must be more faithful about posting, even when I have nothing much to say. After all, that’s the whole reason I have this blog.

Adding Income

Now that I have some of my financial mess sorted out – payment plans with credit cards, getting caught up on a couple of back bills, and a general plan in place to continue digging myself out of my financial black hole – I’ve decided it’s time to step up my efforts to find some additional sources of income to get through this debt repayment faster. Not to mention, to survive winter heating costs in the northeast.

To that end, I have several job applications out for a number of part-time jobs. It’s tricky for me, because the biggest employment area is 17 miles from my house (one way, and my car gets about 20 mpg), and my availability is slightly limited because I do have a full time job that I have to work around. Needless to say, my efforts to find a part-time job thus far have been unsuccessful. I have just heard of a customer service center that’s slightly closer to my house that is open 24 hours, has very flexible scheduling, and is currently hiring, so I will be applying there this week. I have more than a decade of customer service skills, so this one is right up my alley. And I believe they start at $10/hour, and possibly more for experienced employees. Fingers crossed!

In the meantime, I haven’t exactly been idle. I’ve been using what free time I do have to make and save money. I’ve started clipping coupons again. The downside here is that the local market where I do most of my shopping is very small and only does face value for coupons, so I’ll have to start doing more shopping at Price Chopper or another large chain in town (17 miles away) to really get the most bang for my buck (or, coupons, in this case).  I’m trying to get the hang of combining the coupons with sales to really make the coupons as profitable as possible. I’ve found it really, really time consuming to track the sales and match them with coupons. It might not be worth the time. So, I might have to settle for just saving what the coupon is worth (doubled, of course) and forget about the whole combining thing.

I’ve also been completing surveys online for cash and to earn points that can be redeemed for gift cards or merchandise. And also earning points in other ways, through searches, referrals, etc. I’m really careful about potential scams, so I am primarily working through two companies I’ve checked out thoroughly, and so far have had good luck. It’s certainly not going to pay off my $10k in credit card debt, but it helps with little things. I’ve used it to pay for the Christmas presents I don’t want to eliminate entirely (niece, nephew, mom, and grandma are the only ones getting gifts this year).

All in all, I’m in a better place – mentally and financially – than I was a month ago. Now I just need to keep that forward momentum going. This is do-able. Phew.

Light at the End of the Tunnel…

It’s been a quiet week here on the blog, but a busy week at home. There have been dentist appointments, business meetings, kids birthday parties, and medical emergencies. It’s also been busy on the financial front. I have no intention of going into the whole economic mess that is gripping the country. My economic mess is more than enough to occupy my mind. The problems in the U.S. economy are frustrating, disappointing, more than a little frightening, and entirely beyond my ability to control. My own finances, however, are at least more within my control (sort of).

After several months of having to float bills from month to month; living on hot dogs, ramen, and canned soup; leaving some bills entirely unpaid for more than 30 days at a time; and pleading with creditors to help me out so that I CAN pay them, I am finally having some success. I have worked out payment plans with three of my four credit cards. What’s more, the card that has the highest balance, highest interest rate, and highest minimum payments has agreed to significantly lower my interest rate, dropped a couple of late fees, and locked me in at this reduced rate for 12 months. This in itself is a huge relief of my financial burden. The other two cards agreed to similar plans, though one is for just four months. I also made payment arrangements on my student loan, and – thanks to a re-evaluation of taxes – my mortgage payment has gone down by $95 per month! WooHoo! And the moochers have not skipped out on a payment in over a month!

With all of this, plus the steps I have taken to reduce monthly expenses (for example, cable), I am finally – knock on wood! – seeing a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. I can actually visualize being in a much more solid financial place by this time next year. Granted, I won’t be completely debt-free (I mean, I did just buy a house a year ago), but with the payoff of the credit cards, plus one personal loan, that will free up a large amount of cash each month. That’s cash I can use to pay the car off completely. Then, it’s just the house and monthly expenses. Granted, a lot can happen between now and then, but this is the most optimistic I have felt about my financial future in a long, long time.

To keep myself motivated, and to make sure I am keeping up with tracking expenses and progress toward getting out of debt, I have decided to post my information on the blog, so look for that soon. I cannot wait to be rid of my credit card, small loan, and student loan debt. If just knowing that debt elimination is within the realm of possibility feels this liberating, I can wait for the euphoria that will come when it’s all behind me.